Free fall, second part

Free Fall Part 2.: Talking to myself in high tone to the others (5 / 9 / 2017 )

It is all here written above. 
The next time there will be no written words
But I will tell my truth anecdotes
Just to make you laugh with this mis-stake again
Noting that the coincidences that I realize
Makes no  sense apart my mind.

 I will get over myself and my id and my ego
To reach a new frontier
I.e. to communicate as a normal person
With the World
Now knowing that does not work or is logical
Talking about the selfless use
Of the useless self as I use to thought
And you detonated destroying my ideas over
the Buddha ideal
And proving that I love yielding.
So dethroning   this game of me,
If I can not talk of other people and about me at the same time
I understand that I am not been myself but projecting my shadow. This was strange for me because I used to do that unconsciously

and thinking that I was not taking an advantage of that 

but 

diminishing m-y-s-e-l-f to under/stand better the other's actions, 

And 

tough reflecting, thinking on them I could manage to try to be and understand my own behaviour. 

(And reading the last sentence again I am not sure what I meant with manage to be and understand me, maybe that's the point. The lapse.)

 I am  not sure  if  it means that my behaviour is concerned about the thoughts and (miss)judgments  of  the  others.  Mainly-even because or why I always thought to avoid it, that concern over concerns over others. Got it?

But... I am still wondering if to avoid or  to  forget  is a trace of a truly fault or would be a reinforcement to me? I mean,  if I know that I did or do so
but I want to change that thingmabob, am I been against my own natural aspiracy? Not for sure. This is what I have to be aware.
 Of  course, for me it is clear, that as a human being I can mould me as I evolve. And I am not saying that so to speak. I  really believe that if I see something wrong, that I consider unmatching, unfit with my personality and I am often repeating it, I can and have to do my best to change it.  And if I m not  been  sucessfull in  that changing process  I  only can start to modificate the things thanking to the person who is helping me to realize that without nodding only.  (And you know this person!?)
 Is it getting  better  or  worse?  Clean and clear or shadowed and obscure?  I am thinking out-loud.  OR, at least, I am trying.

Em português seria melhor? Acho que não, porque faço esse tipo de textos com associações de palavras em ambos idiomas, daí vem rimas, que levam a outros pensamentos, lapsos, etc. Mas em português ocorre muito mais. Acho.